
These blogs are funny things, public diaries. The best way I have ever heard them described is something along these lines, "when you are feeling good about yourself and want to believe you are a minor celebrity with a following, you convince yourself hundreds of people are reading your blog, and are hanging on your every word. When you are feeling self-conscious, shy or worried, you convince yourself no one reads your blog, and its a private diary no one will find..."
Rather insightful if you ask me (although clearly this person hadn't heard of google statistics)
With that said, I don't know why I haven't posted in a long time, Ive received quite a few complaints about it, but I really don't have an explanation or excuse - I will say, when people really push me to do something, I sometimes start to lean away from that thing, so that might has something to do with it.

I go back and forth on what I think of my work, what I like, what I don't like, the style I'm trying to achieve, why I would post it on a blog, why I wouldn't. I suppose like everyone in anything public, you go through periods where you don't feel like being open.
That said, hopefully I can kick start the bandwagon again (no guarantees). Ive just applied for College Photographer of the Year (CPOY.org). I have no pipe dreams of winning, but I think Ive got a shot at getting honorable mention in some minor categories. I hit the submit button with the "Rudy" soundtrack playing, It made me feel rather triumphant. If you don't know the Rudy soundtrack, its good.

I think a lot about who I am and what defines me a lot these days. Since 2003, I have lived in 3 countries, 7 cities and 10 houses. I can think of at least 7 times I have switched "friend-groups" (usually due to a location change) and have never returned to it again. I don't feel like I have personally changed a lot in through all of this, but who am I? You would have to back to that first group of friends and ask them. It starts to make you lost in who you are and who you were. These days, the only thing I am most sure about is where I am going (oh and the plans i have...).

I miss the people who have defined me, shaped me, pointed me in the right direction. Sometimes I think about who would be my groomsmen, and I think I could chose 5 or 6 guys, and none of them would know each other - and each would have defined a very different part of my life.
All this to say nothing. Time only moves one direction. Maybe that is one reason I love photography and it's what I do. It holds onto those people and places, and like the character Leonard Shelby says in the movie Memento, "Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts...".

That said, please, come along for the coming journeys journey, its nice hearing that people watch the blog, that people from 4 towns ago are still keeping track of me; that I haven't been all forgotten. Please forgive me when I go through periods of not posting. Hopefully those will end. We've got a rip-roaring line up for the next few weeks, and I'm going to make a better effort to bring you along - we're hitting every corner of Europe plus the stuff in -between, and by December we'll be in Africa - I'll see you there.